You know what James Cameron, I saw True Lies, and it SUCKED

I have an epic cold that WILL NOT GO AWAY. Now it's a super awful cough. I should probably go to a doctor, but I probably will just wish it away.

Kate Winslet and her husband split up. I think that Leonardo DiCaprio is secretly in love with her. Did you see the way that he looked at her when she won her Golden Globe? That's not just typical co-star support, that shit's emotional. He looked pretty teary eyed. I'm just saying, Leo, girl's single now, go get em' champ! 'Bout time you ditched those brainless models.

I drank some green beer on Saturday. It turned my tongue green. I like being Irish.

Tara's shower was on Saturday. Throwing parties is a fool's game. From now on I am just attending parties. Oh it went well, and the food was good, and the booze was good (I said to my Aunt Amy, "If there is one thing I know, it's how to make alcohol taste not like alcohol," and she said, "Somehow I could have guessed you'd be good at that."), but it's just so exhausting. On top of the epic cold that won't go away. Seriously, I will come to your party, but don't expect me to throw one. I am le tired.

I was watching that show, "Who do you think you are?" about celebrities researching their ancestors and now I totes want to research my own. I know that we had a florist in the family in the early 1900's named Valentine Scheide, but SJP found out one of her ancestors was accused of witchcraft in Salem. Witchcraft trumps florist, even if Valentine is an awesome name.

Pitt is a number three seed in the NCAA tournament. This is exciting. Less exciting is the fact that Drunk!Sarah stole a Penn State paw from someone's truck on Saturday night and left it, without my knowledge, on Eartha Kitt. I left it on her mailbox. I half hope it's going to show up somewhere else. It's like a game.

This week's douchebag of the week is James Cameron. Because he couldn't be last week's.

Dear James Cameron,

You are a douchebag. I know very little about you (on purpose) but I do know that you are several times divorced and that you are a douche. I am very happy that your ex-wife beat you because she seems like a nice person and you are not. Titanic, although it has one of my all time favorites, was a terrible movie and so is Avatar. I could make a cool movie too if I had that much money to do it. You aren't that special and when you did win (not at the Oscars, sucka), you used a language that you created. That's not touching, that's douchey.

Not love,

Lisa