2012 may be the last year ever, but man, what a way to go

If the Mayans are right, and I'm not ruling anything out, then 2012 will be our last year on this planet (but maybe we'll find a new planet? Like maybe Vin Diesel can lead us on an expedition to colonize a new world that is WAY cooler than any stupid world that stupid James Cameron thinks up). 2012 has been a weird year for me, but that aside, 2012 is only half way through and so far, it's been a pretty amazing LAST YEAR ON EARTH. To recap: Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson with a married dude, and we were rewarded for this massive failure in judgment with a YouTube post from some British "Twilight" fan crying her little British heart out over the tragedy of it all. Amazing. Also, we have the Olympics, and I'm not sure what's going to happen, but I know that America will kick the world's ass, because that's what America does. (I get crazy patriotic around Olympic time. Mostly because America is the greatest country since, you know, sliced bread. And all the other countries can suck it. YOU KNOW WHAT CHINA? YOU MIGHT HAVE A KATRILLION PEOPLE BUT WE INVENTED THE CHIA PET AND THE SNUGGIE AND YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM US!) And there's a Presidential election. And it's not here yet, but we've already been given such amazing things from it. Like Mitt Romney saying things like, "Corporations are people too!" or "I'm not concerned about the very poor. We have a safety net there." Or Newt Gingrich's entire campaign. Or how about my main man, Barack, giving away dinners with George Clooney. (Say what you will, the Republicans might have more money than us, and maybe they are tighter with God than us, but they are not now, nor have they ever been, hipper than us). Plus, 2012 gave us the "Tanning Mom." I have pretty high expectations for the rest of 2012. And it better deliver.