There's a reason that Ebay and Evil sound alike

Once upon a time I was addicted to Ebay.

It was a dark time in my life. It happened freshman year of college. My competitive side came out, and I would find myself outbidding people on things I didn't even want just so they couldn't have it. I bought DVD's like nobody's business. It started innocently enough. I will just look for textbooks, I said. I will just look for things for school, I said.

THAT'S HOW IT STARTS.

I sold my soul to Ebay for a cheap copy of some bootlegged season one OC DVD's. (Terrible purchase, those bootlegged copies of The OC. The sound and the mouths didn't match up most of the time. It was like watching a badly dubbed Japanese movie only sans all the fun ninjas).

I've been Ebay clean and sober now for some years, but I recently had to search for something that would have been available no where else but Ebay.

It's like giving an alcoholic a little sip of wine.

One sip, you say. It won't hurt, you say. You'll stay on the wagon, you say.

THE WAGON IS SLIPPERY AND DANGEROUS AND MAKES SHARP TURNS SOMETIMES.

Oh Ebay, I wish I knew how to quit you.